Why Me?
by THE.Leashchild
Summary: AH. Alec finally wants to tell Magnus how he feels. What will happen when Magnus gets a new boyfriend? I suck at summeries. This is my first FF. Malec. Rated M to be safe and maybe for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Cassandra Clare owns the characters.**

_He moaned as Magnus pushed him up against the wall kissing his neck probably leaving making hickey._

"_More" Alec moaned pushing hips into Magnus's as Magnus moaned into his neck. Magnus pulled him away from the wall and placed him on his bed._

"_I love-_

_Come on pick up, come on pick up_

_Come on pick up, come on pick up_

_Come on pick up, come on pick up_

_Come on pick up, come on pick up_

_Answer your God damn phone_

_When I'm calling you._

_What kinda precious little time am I violating?_

_Answer your God damn phone_

_When I'm calling you._

_I know that you can hear it v-v-vibrating._

_v-v-vibrating, v-v-vibrating _

_v-v-vibrating, v-v-vibrating _

Alec opened his eyes to see who was calling him at the ungodly hour of….7:00? He jumped out of bed and looked at phone to see he had a text from his best friend, Magnus, that he was waiting outside to ride to school. He scolded himself for having that kind of dream about his best friend.

Alec threw on black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, his favorite black hoodie and his gray high top converses and ran his hands through his hair as he ran downstairs and out the door.

He jumped into Magnus's yellow Camaro as soon as If I Had You by Adam Lambert. _How ironic _

They pulled out of his driveway and Magnus turned to him.

"What were you dreaming about that was so important to keep me waiting?" he said in a joking voice.

Alec blushed "I can't remember" he said then turned to look out of the window.

Magnus prodded him "Was it about a certain girl" he said winking.

Magnus believed Alec was straight and had no idea of Alec's crush on him.

"Maybe" said Alec as they pulled into the parking lot right as the warning bell rang. Magnus parked and Alec all but ran away and into the school.

* * *

Alec was waiting at their usual table at lunch when Jace, Clary, Izzy, and Simon sat down.

"Where's Magnus?" asked Jace.

Everybody shrugged and started eating when Manus walked into the cafeteria holding a strangers hand.

He introduced the guy to the group as Ragnor Fell, the new kid, and his new boyfriend. The whole time they sat their looking into each other's eyes he tried to keep from crying and he quickly left when the bell rang.

* * *

Alec stood outside in the cold of December and tried to control his emotions. He was finally going to come out to Magnus and confess that he'd liked the boy for years but now that Ragnor was in the picture he couldn't do it.

He kicked a sharp piece of glass and looked at it for a minute until he bent to pick it up. He was tired of all the emotional pain he had. He gripped it piece of glass harder until it cut into his hand and the blood streamed out and dripped on the ground a dark red. The physical pain distracted him from his emotions. He cleaned the blood off his hand and walked back into the school.

His next two classes passed by quickly. He went to his last class which had to be Math his worst subject. But he was glad he had Magnus with him in class. He winced as his pencil dug into the cuts on his hands when he took notes.

"What's wrong?" Magnus asked.

"Nothing" Alec replied continuing with his notes. Magnus looked at him suspiciously but let it go. Then Alec's hand started to bleed. Magnus freaked out and asked to take him to the nurse.

"What did u do?" asked Magnus.

"Nothing it was an accident." Alec said Magnus clearly not believing him.

"Don't hurt yourself over a girl they aren't worth it" Magnus said.

Alec had to refrain from face palming at his friends cluelessness.

**A/N:**

**This is my first FF so tell me what i can do to make it better!**

**Thanks!**

**Leashchild**


	2. Chapter 2

**The characters aren't mine :'( **

**Here's chapter 2 :)**

**Songs:**

**Never Too Late- Three Days Grace**

**Good Girls Bad Guys- Falling In Reverse**

**Who I Am- Avion Roe**

**Ghosts of the Attic- Her Bright Skies**

**Sing It- Her Bright Skies**

**Shake You- Her Bright Skies**

_The world we knew won't come back_

_The time we've lost can't get back_

_The life we had won't be ours again_

_This world will never be what I expected_

_And if I don't belong_

_Even if I say it'll be alright_

_Still I hear you say you want to end your life_

_Now and again we try to just stay alive_

_Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late_

_It's never too late_

He stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom looking at the safety pin in his hands. He unhooked it and placed it on his uncovered arm. He grimaced as the needle cut into his skin. By the second cut he was already addicted to the new type of pain.

When he was done he washed off his arm and the safety pin then pinned to the sleeve of his favorite sweatshirt. Then as soon as he lay down he fell asleep.

* * *

In the car on the way to school in the morning Magnus grabbed his arm. Crap I'm screwed I only did it once and he already knows thought Alec.

"What's wrong Alec?" Magnus asked.

"Again nothing is wrong!" Alec snapped.

"Geez calm down mr. grumpy pants" Magnus laughed.

Alec rolled his eyes and turned to look out the window. The car ride was silent and he secretly checked out Magnus in his usual getup. He was wearing black leather skinny jeans, a My Chemical Romance tank top, and sequined converses. He was like always covered in glitter from head to toe. Why did he love this boy so much?

He smirked to himself and Magnus looked at him with a questioning look. Alec just shook his head and turned the radio onto Good Girls Bad Guys by Falling In Reverse and they both started singing to it.

* * *

When Alec walked into the cafeteria for lunch Magnus was already sitting at the table crying his eyes out.

He raised Magnus's head and asked "What's wrong hun?"

Magnus just looked at him and started crying on his shoulder and said "I know it's only been a week but Ragnor cheated on me already."

"With who?"

"That stupid bitch Aline, he never told me he was bi." Magnus stopped crying and sat back and Alec looked at the perfect makeup still on his red eyes.

"I'm so sorry Magnus. Just don't do anything you''ll regret." Alec said. Maybe you should start listening to your own advice smart one said that little voice in his head.

"I won't" Magnus reassured Alec.

Jace and Clary sat down and Magnus sobered up hiding the fact that he was just crying.

"Magnus I have something to tell u later." Alec whispered to him.

Magnus looked at him questioningly "okay. When?"

"Just later" he said.

* * *

In math Magnus leaned over and asked Alec "why do u have a safety pin on your sweatshirt?"

"Ummmm I found it on my floor and I didn't want to lose it."

Magnus looked at him suspiciously "okay."

The rest of class went by quickly with Alec thinking about Magnus.

When Magnus and Alec made it back to Alec's house and into his room Alec decided to be brave and tell Magnus what he's wanted to tell him for months now.

"Magnus?" Alec asked.

"Yes dear?" Magnus replied jokingly.

"Well you know how I wanted to tell you something?"

"yeahhhh?"

"well…" Alec suddenly lost all his courage looking into the other boys eyes.

"What?" Magnus asked.

"I uh got the new My Chemical Romance cd!" he said.

"Sweet!" Magnus said excitedly.

Later Alec asked Magnus if he would like to stay over since it was Friday.

As Alec was in the bathroom he wanted to cut again because he couldn't tell Magnus about his feelings for him.

He held the safety pin to his other arm so he didn't have too many cuts in one place and the bathroom door opened and Magnus walked in and his mouth fell open as Alec made the first cut.

"OH MY GLOB!"

**AN:**

**Soooo? how was the second chapter?**

**was it too early for Magnus too find out?**

**Should i try Magnus POV?**

**Please review :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks everyone for reviewing! **

**Sorry I didn't upload sooner I had a bad writers block and I hope I did better this time!**

**I don't own the characters :'(**

_in the corner of a worn down bar_  
_picked her out from the start_  
_cigarettes and cheap perfume_  
_we're taking this too far_  
_but she's got class and she's got style_  
_at least that's what i thought_  
_how could i think that i'd be the one_  
_well, i should have known_

_so put your hands up high_  
_and reach for the skyline _  
_got everything i need_  
_but i want you_

_did you see the new boy in town?_  
_bet you were first in line_  
_but pretty soon he will understand_  
_just what you're like_  
_and don't pretend that you don't know_  
_exactly what i mean_  
_he'll read you like an open book_  
_well, you should have known_  
_**  
**Heartbreaker- Her Bright Skies 3_

* * *

MPOV

Alec dropped the safety pin and started hyperventilating.

Magnus stood and the entrance of the bathroom too scared to move while Alec was sitting there breaking down. He finally decided to do something. He moved into the bathroom and crouched down in front of Alec and took his arm and pulled up the sleeve seeing some old cuts and the beginning of a new one. He suddenly felt like crying himself. How did he not know what was going on with his best friend? They shared everything.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" he asked Alec. His voice so low is was almost a whisper.

"I don't know" Alec said in an equally low voice.

"BULLSHIT!" Magnus yelled.

He watched as Alec flinched away from him and he suddenly wished he hadn't yelled at him. Alec was still crying and Magnus put a finger under his chin and lifted his head up so they were looking into each others eyes.

"Do you want to tell me the truth now?" He asked in a quieter voice.

Alec shook his head. Magnus snapped hurt that his best friend since they were kids didn't want to tell him the truth about what was hurting him.

"Fine, if you ever want to tell me the truth just call me!" Magnus yelled again.

Alec flinched again but Magnus didn't feel as bad this time knowing he was keeping secrets from him.

"You wouldn't understand even if I told you" Alec whispered.

"How do you know I wouldn't understand?" He replied.

"I doubt you've ever been through it before" Alec said a little louder.

"So that doesn't mean I can't try to understand if you told me" Magnus snapped. He was getting annoyed.

Alec just looked up and him with sad eyes and shook his head, pushing Magnus away lightly he stood up and walked out of the bathroom. Magnus sat there and looked around. He picked up Alec's safety pin and stuck it in his pocket. He stood up and grabbed a wet cloth and went to Alec in his bedroom. He grabbed his arm again but Alec pulled it back like he was afraid to get a lecture again, but Magnus just took it again. He rolled up his sleeve and wiped the dried blood off of his cuts.

APOV

"I'm sorry about what ever is causing you to want to hurt yourself but next time you feel like doing it you should talk to me first, maybe you can talk it out." Magnus said sadly.

"Okay" Alec said quietly watching Magnus clean off his cuts.

When they finally went to sleep Alec made sure to keep a gap between Magnus and him just in case. He eventually decided he couldn't fall asleep and got up and went to the bathroom. When he got in there he sat down and looked at the cuts on his arms he thought back to why he had done it. It wasn't just Magnus now. Nothing in his life was going right anymore, his parents were fighting so much and he recently found out they were getting a divorce and his dad wasn't fighting for custody of him or his siblings. Besides that none of his teachers liked him and his grade were going into the toilet and he was starting to get bullied a lot for no reason at school.

He sighed and rolled down his sleeve as he stood up and walked out of the bathroom. When he got back to his room he saw Magnus sleeping. He was so smitten with the other boy. Magnus was sleeping serenely when Alec got into bed. He got out his iPod because listening to music helped him fall asleep. He turned it on shuffle and the first song that turned on was I'm Not Okay by My Chemical Romance, his favorite band in the whole world! He drifted into sleep thinking about the next day.

* * *

MPOV

When Magnus woke up he looked over to see Alec snuggled into his side. He smiled happily. He honestly wouldn't mind waking up to the beautiful blue eyed boy everyday for the rest of his life. Holy shitaki mushrooms where were these thoughts coming from he never thought like this about his best friend. But he admitted to himself he may have liked the other boy a little more than a friend. He smiled again thinking about how great it would be to have a boyfriend like Alec but he didn't know if it would be worth it to possibly ruin their friendship by dating. Alec opened his eyes and smiled back at Magnus. They got up and got cereal before going into the living and watching Vampire Knight for the afternoon.

"Are you feeling any better today?" Magnus asked Alec.

"Yeah, it kind of helped that I had an amazing dream about the most adorkable man alive, Mikey Way!" Alec said while laughing.

Magnus smiled and for some reason felt a little jealous of the bass player for being the one Alec dreamed about. He mentally slapped himself to stop those thoughts.

* * *

On Monday as soon as Alec walked into the school Maia came over to him and asked him out to the movies on Friday. Magnus standing right beside him wondering why Alec didn't go out with more girls?

"He says yes!" Magnus said to Maia and she smiled and walked away. Magnus feeling happy kept walking to his locker. When he went to open it up he was hit on the arm. He turned and saw an unhappy Alec standing beside him.

"What the hell man?" Alec said.

"What?" Magnus replied.

"Why did you tell her yes? Maybe I didn't want to go out with her!" Alec said sounding exasperated.

"Just thought you should get out some so you don't feel as depressed and you don't cut as much." Magnus said innocently.

APOV

"Gee thanks" Alec said walking away.

What's going on does Magnus Know about Alec? Of course not. He wouldn't have said yes to Maia if he knew Alec was gay. Did that mean he had no feelings for Alec since he was pushing him towards dating other girls? Alec thought about what was going on feeling worried about what might happen. Maybe he could explain to Maia that he was gay.

Could he?

* * *

**Please review thank you.**


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